The Importance of Saying No

What’s it like to be at a conference with “fancy” people, when you’re the one feeling like you snuck in a side door as a seat filler? Okay, okay — that’s just my imposter monster talking. In today’s experimental episode, I’m taking you behind-the-scenes of the recent 5-day main TED conference in Vancouver, building on Pivot episode 325: 10+ Conference Networking Strategies with Alisa Cohn.

In full-on morning voice with a travel mic, I do a daily check-in about what I was nervous about, spontaneous serendipitous invites, fan-girling my favorite authors and podcasters, falling off the energy cliff, what gave me FOMO and JOMO, and my daily quest for coffee. Always. Find. The. Coffee.

🌟 3 Key Takeaways

• Identify when you’re at your conversation-sparking best: time of day and format (1:1, small group, big group; format vs. informal gatherings)
• Trust that less can be more: Fewer, deeper conversations can be just as powerful, if not even longer lasting than more, shorter ones. Resist the pressure to maximize every single element of being at the event.
• Put yourself in the path of people: Even when you’re not invited to the fancy formal events, place yourself in a central place — like the hotel lobby or a coffee station — to attract random conversation from other people who are also looking to meet someone new, but may be similarly unsure about how to break the ice of conversation.

📝 Permission: Embrace JOMO, knowing you’ll be at your best if you say no to situations that tend to bring out your worst.

✅ Do (or Delegate) This Next: Send a follow-up note to reconnect with someone you met in the last year. Bonus: schedule a small group reunion event over brunch or dinner (or Zoom).

🔗 Resources Mentioned

• Apply to attend the TED Conference in Vancouver
• Travel: Athletic Greens, TripIt Pro, Peloton, Tonal, my favorite Tumi carry-on bag
• People: Alexandra Franzen, Alisa Cohn, Jon Levy, Cameron Herold, Gina Bianchini, Amy Cuddy, Dan Harris, Scott Belsky, Krista Tippett, Jacob Weisburg
• Articles: Jon Levy Influencer Dinners

📚 Books Mentioned

• From Start-up to Grown Up: Grow Your Leadership to Grow Your Business by Alisa Cohn
• You're Invited: The Art and Science of Connection, Trust, and Belonging by Jon Levy
• Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy
• The Messy Middle: Finding Your Way Through the Hardest and Most Crucial Part of Any Bold Venture by Scott Belsky
• 10% Happier Revised Edition: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works--A True Story by Dan Harris
• Free Time: Lose the Busywork, Love Your Business
• Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One
• Life After College

🎧 Related Episodes

• The Sensitive CEO Show with Rose Cox: An HSP’s Guide to Podcasting with Jenny Blake
• Free Time:
• 043: From Start-Up to Grown-Up (and Coach to Author) with Alisa Cohn
• 166: Crashing into Quiet Time 🏝️
• 126: Creating Time Buffer—7 Strategies for Spacious Scheduling
• 084: Sprinkling the First 1,000 Serendipity Seeds of a Launch
• 167: Transform Your Approach to Community-Building with Gina Bianchini
• Pivot:
• 325: 10+ Conference Networking Strategies with Alisa Cohn
• 298: Networking in a New Niche and Becoming Broadway Investors with Dorie Clark and Alisa Cohn
• 251: Listener Q&A on (Furry) Imposter Monsters
• 324: Six Golden Shadows of the Imposter Complex with Tanya Geisler
• 77: 21+ Travel Tips, Tools and Apps — with Jenny Blake
• 302: Moving Beyond Burnout with Dr. Susan Biali Haas

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices