It's easy to get trapped into a battle of wills with your kids. Most wars, like most arguments and most matters in life, are won indirectly. They're not matters of full force going against full force, but about finding another way around. Sometimes they're won by delay, sometimes by surprise, other times by faints or alliances. And so it should go with your kids: You're not going to yell them into listening, you're going to have to find where they're vulnerable.