Your Dating List Is Keeping You Single
Sex With Emily
The List Myth: How to Prioritize Feelings
Damona and Emily discuss why lists of traits fail and suggest focusing on how you want to feel and long-term goals.
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In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily sits down with celebrity dating coach Damona Hoffman to dismantle the fairy tales keeping you stuck in your dating life.
Why your mile-long partner checklist (six feet tall, specific job, perfect abs) is sabotaging your search for real compatibility—and the question you should ask instead: "How do I want to feel?"
The difference between dating for superficial traits versus shared life goals—why wanting a yoga partner matters way less than wanting the freedom to pursue your own interests in a relationship.
A caller who's getting ghosted on dating apps wonders if women have too many options—the real reason your profile isn't working, and it has nothing to do with competition.
The "three C's" that'll transform your dating profile overnight: strategic color to stand out, context that tells your story, and character that shows who you really are (no sunglasses photos—we need to see your eyes).
Why "chemistry at first sight" is actually lust, and you can't know if you love someone the minute you look into their eyes—the three-date rule that gives real connection time to build.
The reframe that takes the pressure off: stop trying to be liked and start being upfront about what you want—it'll filter out the wrong people and attract your actual match.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction 1:21 – F The Fairytale 13:00 – The Dating Tracker Strategy That Changes Everything 22:48 – Values Over Political Labels in Dating 25:48 – The Chemistry Myth 34:15 – How to Know If You're Coming On Too Strong 45:07 – Dating Profile Photos: The Three C's 47:35 – Five Quickie Questions 49:17 – Closing and Where to Find Damona
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