Falling Asleep With the Dog in a Cost of Living Crisis

Lauren says she fell asleep on the sofa with her dog last night and woke up feeling happy. She said: "I didn't feel guilty because I was like, I'm actually enriching my dog's life right here" And now it's time for our third penis-related story of the week. A Dutch court ordered a man to stop jizzing after he allegedly farthed between 500 and 600 children.