So how do we get out of this? How do we move forward then? You talk at the end of the book about some different transformations. So can we talk about that a little bit? And you brought up attachment a little bit. And I'm secretly planning. It's not a big secret, but I'm secretly planning it like multiple episodes deep dive into attachment theory, hopefully sometime in the near future of which I might be reaching out to you to help me. But, you know, like we're born to love, we just brought up this question like, you know, Jesus commands us to love like this is kind of the whole point of it. So how is that part of the transformation that you talk about in the book? Yeah.

So to just touch on attachment briefly, as you mentioned, attachment or attachment or experiences with attachment figures, close caregivers, you know, people we rely on for safety and comfort really shape us in a very deep way, including our relationship with God. And so these relationships are in place by 12 months of age or an attachment bond that develops for most children as a place by 12 months of age. And so what happens is when children have kind of repeated experiences with caregivers, what we call attachment figures, those get remembered or internalized in this gut level form of memory. And there's a couple characteristics of attachment relationship. So children naturally want to be close to their parents, right, physical proximity, and they get upset when their parents leave, right? So that's normal. So that's kind of one of the main dimensions. The other one that really is the key is this comfort and challenge, right? So there's this attachment theory, it's called a haven of safety and a secure base. And so they're really kind of two sides of the same coin. When a child is distressed or upset, they receive comfort from their parent or attachment figure. And that then frees them up to explore their world. And so when that happens enough in a repeated kind of way, they again, they internalize that. That means basically we remember those experiences in this gut level form of memory. And then it forms kind of a template or blueprint in our mind or some scholars call a mental model. And so then that shapes how we relate. And the powerful thing about this idea is it shapes how we relate outside of conscious awareness. So it's not something we're, you know, consciously aware of it's I've had all these experiences and it just shapes what I expect at a gut level from relationships and what I know at a gut level about how relationships work. And so that plays out in all of our important relationships, including our relationship with God so deeply impacts our spirituality.