#572: At age 7, Dr. Jordan Grumet lost his father. This early loss shaped his career path — he became a physician, following in his dad's footsteps. But by 2010, feeling burned out from internal medicine, he took an unexpected turn: he became a hospice doctor.
In this episode, Dr. Grumet joins us to discuss what he's learned from thousands of conversations with people in their final days.
These discussions have revealed a pattern: people don't typically regret their bank balance on their deathbed. Instead, they regret not pursuing the activities and dreams that truly lit them up.
Dr. Grumet explains the difference between what he calls "Big P Purpose" versus "little p purpose." Big P Purpose involves major life goals like becoming president or curing cancer. Little p purpose, by contrast, focuses on the process — finding activities you enjoy regardless of the outcome.
He shares the story of a young professional who loved competitive cycling. While working a demanding nonprofit job, this person started fixing bikes at races on weekends. This side project combined his skills and passion, eventually creating enough income for him to reduce his full-time hours.
Dr. Grumet introduces three key concepts for building more purpose into your life:
- Joy of Addition: Add activities that excite you, even if just for 15 minutes daily
- Art of Subtraction: Remove activities that drain you
- Substitution: When you can't add or subtract, swap one activity for another
He emphasizes that money isn't the only tool for creating change. Youth, energy, relationships, skills and community can be equally valuable resources. A 22-year-old might lack funds but has the advantage of time and stamina that a 51-year-old doesn't possess.
Dr. Grumet references the Harvard Adult Developmental Health Study, which found that strong relationships — not achievements or money — most strongly correlate with happiness. He suggests that pursuing activities you enjoy naturally leads to building these vital connections.
The episode closes with a powerful story about his grandfather, who loved math and became an accountant in the 1950s.
This passion influenced Dr. Grumet's mother to become a CPA, which in turn helped young Jordan develop confidence in math, despite his reading challenges. Years later, this mathematical thinking helped him diagnose a rabbi's rare condition — proving how small actions can create ripple effects across generations.
Timestamps:
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0:00 Introduction to Dr. Grumet, hospice doctor discussing end-of-life insights
1:06 Transition from medicine to hospice as side hustle
2:21 Hospice shifts from medical to emotional care
4:12 Palliative care vs hospice care explained
5:05 Age range of hospice patients
6:55 Life priorities and deathbed regrets
13:46 Harvard Adult Developmental Health Study on happiness
20:00 Purpose, happiness and flow states
26:35 Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction explained
33:30 Using youth when lacking money
41:18 Calendar evaluation strategies
48:45 Managing family disappointment
56:08 Regrets as purpose anchors
1:03:26 Common end-of-life regrets
1:09:06 Small actions, big legacy
For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode572
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