Why attention switching drains us

To kick off 2026, I sit down with Dr. Paul Leonardi, author of the bestselling book Digital Exhaustion, for a conversation that felt incredibly timely—and personal. If you've been feeling distracted, mentally drained, short-tempered, or like your family is getting the leftovers of your energy, this episode puts clear language around what's happening inside your brain.

We dive deep into how constant app switching, nonstop notifications, and digital overload are quietly exhausting our attention, memory, marriages, and relationships with our kids. Paul breaks down the science behind digital exhaustion in a practical, grounded way, and I share a powerful moment when my 12-year-old voluntarily handed back his phone because he didn't like how it made him feel. This episode isn't about rejecting technology—it's about learning how to use it without letting it use us.

Timeline Summary:

[0:00] Introduction

[1:02] Welcoming listeners to 2026 and the 11th year of The Dad Edge Podcast.

[1:40] Introducing Dr. Paul Leonardi and the concept of digital exhaustion.

[2:22] How digital overload impacts attention, memory, marriage, and family life.

[3:05] Parenting in a world our brains were never designed for.

[4:12] Raising kids with devices and navigating unfamiliar territory.

[6:07] Independence, social media, and emotional complexity in today's kids.

[7:35] How online trends shape kids' identity and self-image.

[9:58] What's actually happening in the brain during prolonged digital use.

[11:16] The hidden "taxes" we pay for constant connectivity.

[12:26] Driver #1: attention and constant context switching.

[13:31] Driver #2: inference and filling in the blanks online.

[15:26] Driver #3: amplified emotions—both positive and negative.

[16:31] Why multitasking burns massive mental energy.

[17:20] The impact of digital overload on memory and mental residue.

[18:41] Outsourcing memory to devices and what it costs us.

[21:15] When kids are actually ready for devices—and when they're not.

[23:42] Why screen time isn't the real issue—interruptions and content are.

[26:35] The emotional cost of likes, validation, and online comparison.

[28:39] Larry shares the story of his son giving up his phone voluntarily.

[31:11] Why kids struggle to articulate digital overwhelm.

[32:06] The Facebook outage study and the surprising relief people felt.

[35:10] Introducing the Roommates to Soulmates live course.

[37:54] Digital exhaustion inside marriage and miscommunication over text.

[38:58] "Make the match" — choosing the right communication medium.

[43:12] "Be here, not elsewhere" and the power of undistracted presence.

[46:09] How distraction has become socially normalized.

[49:21] Why work interruptions at home send the wrong message.

[51:39] Modeling priorities for kids through availability and presence.

[56:21] Where to find Paul, his book, and additional resources.

Five Key Takeaways

1. Digital exhaustion comes from attention switching, inference-making, and emotional overload, not just screen time alone.
2. Multitasking is a myth—the brain burns massive energy switching contexts, leaving us mentally drained.
3. Kids often feel overwhelmed by devices before they can explain it, which shows up as stress or behavior changes.
4. Choosing the right communication tool matters, especially in marriage and parenting.
5. Presence beats duration—ten fully focused minutes matter more than hours of distracted time.

Links & Resources

• Paul Leonardi — Digital Exhaustion Book: https://paulleonardi.com/digital-exhaustion-book/
• Paul Leonardi on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-leonardi-45b67321/
• Dad Edge Mastermind & Alliance: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
• Roommates to Soulmates Course: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates
• Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1422

Closing Remark

If this episode made you rethink how you're using your phone, your attention, or your presence at home, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. The way we show up—focused, intentional, and available—shapes not just our kids' childhoods, but the adults they become.