I Was Like, Man, I Wanted to Do This Forever

In 20 17, my mam died. And that's when the fissures in my mental health, the cracks just broke right? And i went basically like insane for two, two and half years. I think it was just like trying to get through it. That's kind of how i remember it. Life is not stable, and unfortunately, we don't stay alive forever. In some ways, it saved my life, because i went through at least two, 2 & 1/2 years of intense suicidal ideation and also destructive, emotionally destructive behaviour. My family is very small, and they like alcohol, so they're not alive any more, and they really like alco