The Dismal Portrait of Judas

The story shows us that for Judas to have betrayed Jesus, he turned something off inside of him. He's watching Jesus be the very person that he called his disciples to be. And so he does his last ditch effort to minimize his guilt. That's portrait number one. Portrait number two is Cain not even turning back to God to say, this is more than I can handle. This is Judas becoming utterly overwhelmed by his acknowledgement that he's contributed to the death of an innocent man. So it leads him into total despair. And he can't, he doesn't want to live in this world anymore. and so he kills himself.