Shame, Retreating, and Finding Corrective Experiences

If you and your partner are looking for ways to improve your communication in your mixed neurotype relationship, then⁠ click here⁠ to purchase the recorded workshop with Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay titled: "Strategies and Tools for Increasing Healthy and Respectful Communication in Your Neurodiverse Relationship".

The topics that are addressed include: 1) Rituals of Communication. 2) Healthy Communication Structures. 3) Reciprocity and Turn Taking. 4) Perspective Taking and Conflict Resolution. 5) Tools for Communicating Changes Wanted and Needed.

The investment for this workshop is ONLY $97 and each participant will receive a Communication Workbook and a code to purchase the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11 value) and the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97 value) for only $1 each!

_______________________________________________________________

During this episode, Mona and Greg talk about their lived experiences co-parenting with a partner who has a different neurotype. They share some of the lessons they both learned, things they now understand and would have done differently, as well as the strengths in their co-parenting relationships. In addition, they address many other topics including:

• Having shame around parenting because it can reveal some of our issues around neurodivergence. 
• ND mind needs time to recover and the parenting demands may make it seem like they don’t have space to recover.

• Being great in emergency and crisis situations.  Hyperfocus can be very helpful.
• Needing to engage in activities and having a role during an event.
• When only one parent goes to most school activities, birthday parties and other events that involve other kids.
• Identify your stylistic differences, preferences, strengths and roles as parents.
• Sensory overload and not knowing your sensory profile can create lots of challenges.
• Parents may experience emotional overload or overwhelm because they don't understand each other's neurological differences.
• One parent may be the safe person for the children to go to.
• May feel like you have an angry and unavailable partner.
• Try not to identify your partner by their most vulnerable and difficult moments.
• The importance of recognizing relational trauma and neurodivergence legacy.
• Understanding that our neurodivergent traits may be passed down to our children.

• Take time to talk to your child about how you may not have been able to meet their needs. 
• How alexithymia may impact the parent-child dynamic.
• Not being able to tolerate highly emotional situations like screaming or intense crying.
• Kids may feel like they have to  “walk on eggshells” with a parent.
• Understanding how screaming or shutting down can impact your children.
• Understanding an ND partner may not engage in certain parenting responsibilities because they don’t want to get it wrong.
• One parent may experience shame around what they feel they can’t do as a parent.
• Your passions or special interests may be places where you can bond and connect with your kids.

• Kids attune to each parent and seek “attachment”
• Be a student to your kid and learn from them and understand their needs and personality.
• The way your family thrives may be SO different from other families...and that’s okay.
• Understand that the maintenance of your relationship with your college age or adult child may change.
• The need for mutuality and reciprocity.
• Being clear about what the adult child needs from their parent.
• When you feel something positive about your child tell them.
• Connect with your adult child on a regular basis and consider adding a reminder to your calendar to reach out to them.

If you would like to learn more about the support groups and other resources Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to contact Greg, you can check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com