231. “Our $200k in crypto is gone. Now we live with his mom.”
Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi
Identifying Dreamer Patterns and Enabling Support
Ramit labels them dreamers who rely on rescuers, explaining why external consequences are sometimes necessary for change.
Angela (31) and David (34) thought they’d built a future on $200,000 in crypto. Instead, they lost it all—and now they’re living in David’s childhood home with his mom. Angela dreams of traveling to Colombia to be with family, while David quietly panics about their finances. She sees every course and trip as a step toward freedom, but he sees their savings shrinking with no plan in sight. With only $4,000 in the bank and a 5-year-old to support, can they stop improvising and finally create a stable financial life of their own?
In this episode we uncover:
• How David blew through $200,000 in crypto
• Living rent-free with David’s mom
• The “get rich quick” approach to debt: bankruptcy talk, unrealistic timelines, and skipped planning
• Why improvising instead of planning is their default financial strategy
• A $3,000 retreat vs. moving out: how conflicting priorities reveal deeper issues
• The moment they see the truth in their spending
• How David’s mom ended up in credit card debt from supporting them
• Angela’s scarcity and rescue narratives from childhood
• Why David avoids stress and Angela absorbs it
• The cost of being “Dreamers” (big visions with no real plan)
• Signs their daughter is already noticing financial stress
Chapters:
(00:00:00) “We have no space to breathe”
(00:25:05) Ramit breaks down their numbers
(00:35:12) “Our vision isn’t aligned to our actions”
(00:52:42) “Like mother, like daughter”
(01:03:09) “Do you want major changes or minor changes?”
(01:15:26) “We’ve never created a plan”
(01:36:53) Where are they now? Angela and David’s follow-ups
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Links mentioned in this episode
• If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching
Connect with Ramit
• Get my new book, Money For Couples
• Get Money Coaching with Ramit
• Download the Conscious Spending Plan
• Listen to my book—now on Audible
• Get my New York Times best-selling book
• YouTube
If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.
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