Speaker 2
I find that I sometimes talk about shame as a kind of psychic constipation. So if you get stuck in self-loathing and shame, nothing gets learned. It blocks the facial recognition program. Nothing moves. And kindness doesn't mean, you know, letting yourself off the hook. It's not a calgon, take me away, type of bubble bath situation. It's more like talking to yourself the way you would talk to a good friend. You would tell a good friend the truth hopefully, when you can be honest with yourself without getting into hatred and self-loathing and castigation, et cetera, et cetera. So yeah, all that lands for me. Yeah, I like
Speaker 1
the psychic constipation. And I like how you're differentiating. I think of it as self-indulgence is different than self-care. Yes. We can meet our needs. And that's critical because often we need something like we're lonely or we're angry or we're frustrated or something and we're feeding our wants by eating, for example, or judging ourselves because it's something we can do versus meeting our needs, which is, hey, I need some emotional support right now. You know, food's not gonna provide that. It's only gonna provide a temporary distraction. So meeting our needs is really critical and it helps us step out of these old habits of feeding our wants.
Speaker 2
Coming up, Dr. Judd talks about something he calls the bigger, better offer, unforced freedom of choice, and whether we can still eat gummy worms. My family and I use Airbnb's all the time, especially when we take beach vacations. I love being able to get a spot that is super close to the beach but way less expensive than staying at a beach front hotel. Don't get me wrong, I like hotels now and again, but being able to have your own house, especially on a beach vacation where you've got tons of stuff, buggy boards, et cetera, it's really nice to have a house you can cook for yourself, have your friends over. We love Airbnb's. Speaking of beaches, maybe you wanna go somewhere warm over the winter. While you're away, you could Airbnb your home and make some extra money for the trip. Whether you could use some extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. I spent many years in my career, the vast majority of my career, being forced to wear a suit and tie to work, but now that I work from home, I can wear whatever I want, including clothing from Viori. Everything Viori makes is designed to work out in, but it doesn't look or feel like that. And their clothes are so incredibly comfortable, you're gonna wanna wear them all the time. Seriously, it is more comfortable than whatever you are wearing right now, I promise you. Viori is also thinking about the health of the planet. Viori is 100% offsetting their carbon footprint. They're also reducing and offsetting 100% of their plastic footprint from 2019 and beyond. The good folks from Viori sent me some clothes, which I am wearing all the time. I've got some sweatpants and a very comfortable t-shirt for wearing around the house. I've also got what they call a sweater shirt, so it's like a button-down shirt, but it's very, very warm. And I'm wearing this thing all the time. In fact, you might see it in some of the social media videos I've been posting. I'm wearing the crap out of this. I love it. Viori is an investment in your happiness, for real. It's nice to have nice clothes, especially if it doesn't cost too much. And that is definitely the case with Viori. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash happier, that's v-u-o-r-i.com slash happier. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but you will also enjoy free shipping on any US orders, over $75 and free returns. Go to Viori.com slash happier and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Viori.com At this point, I'm wondering a little bit whether I've committed any journalistic malpractice here because I feel like we've stepped into the third part of the challenge that you're laying out in the book, the 21-day challenge without really announcing that we've stepped into it. So the first part is mapping your habit loops, getting a sense of why do you do what you do? The second was interrupting your habit loops with awareness, paying attention so that you either don't do the habitual thing or when you do do it, you realize that it kind of sucks. So then you don't do it going forward. And then the third, which we haven't explicitly named, but we are kind of talking about some of it, which is identifying what you call a bigger, better offer. So I know we've covered some of this, but maybe just be a little bit more explicit if you're up for it.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I'd be happy to. So here, this actually builds right on the step two. So if we think of reward-based learning being really the strongest learning mechanism in our brains, it can help us become disenchanted with old habits like we've talked about, oh, overeating doesn't feel very good. And that same mechanism can help propel behaviors that are more rewarding forward. So we can compare overeating to what it's like to stop when we're full. And the stopping when we're full is that bigger, better offer because it feels better. And so our brain is going to naturally gravitate toward things that are more rewarding. The more rewarding thing could simply be stepping out of an old loop, such as overeating or snacking when we're not hungry or stress eating or eating a bunch of fast food as compared to healthy food. So any of these can be bigger, better offers. For me, a bigger, better offer is blueberries compared to gummy worms, right? So there's an example of this third step where I compare what's it like to eat gummy worms versus what's it like to eat blueberries? And not cognitively, I wanna be super clear here. This isn't me thinking, oh yeah, of course gummy worms have all these food colorings that should be banned in the US because they've been banned in New York forever. It's like god knows whether in those things. I know that those aren't healthy for me, but the knowing isn't good enough. Our thinking brain is not nearly as strong as our feeling body. So what I'm talking about here is feeling into my last experience when I had gummy worms, feeling into my last experience when I ate blueberries and letting my brain be the decider. So to me, it's a no brainer, right? Blueberries taste better, they're the bigger, better offer. It's easy for me to pick blueberries over gummy worms. In fact, like I said, I can't remember the last time I've had a gummy worm because I'm just not interested.