In this conversation, Yellow Chair Therapist, Mina Yoon, shares her experiences growing up with an emotionally immature parent and her late diagnosis of ADHD. We explore the complexity of parent-child relationships and the importance of setting boundaries. She highlights the impact of shame and the validation that comes with an ADHD diagnosis.
Takeaways
- Adult children of emotionally immature parents may struggle with setting boundaries and experience guilt and shame.
- Understanding the signs and symptoms of emotionally immature parents can help individuals recognize and address the impact on their lives.
- Starting the path of recovery without therapy can involve self-reflection, research, and self-compassion.
- Preserving the relationship with a parent while setting boundaries is possible and can be beneficial for one's mental health.
- Late diagnosis of ADHD is common, especially in women and people of color, and can provide validation and understanding.
- Hyper-focus is a common trait in ADHD, leading to intense interest in hobbies or activities that may be dropped abruptly.
Chapters
- 00:00 Introduction
- 03:59 Enjoyed preschool, felt like authentic self. Good food, friends, carefree, vivid memories.
- 08:17 Relating to books and being seen.
- 10:16 Emotionally immature parent acts like a child.
- 13:27 Asian family dynamics: trust, independence, and extremes.
- 17:28 Complex trauma leads to identity and control loss.
- 22:19 Cultural influence on setting boundaries with family.
- 25:12 Setting boundaries preserves relationships while prioritizing self.
- 28:40 Struggled academically after elementary school, college performance poor.
- 31:58 ADHD diagnosis helps reduce shame, provides validation.
- 36:48 Struggling with focus, need deadlines and consequences.
- 40:32 Being honest and apologizing helps manage shame.
- 43:39 Balancing self blame with reflection, overcoming challenges.
- 45:41 Surrendering addiction, seeking approval, learning from adversity.
- 49:55 Continuously working through life, a lifelong journey.
- 51:26 Finding freedom in small steps towards authenticity.
