i think that the general idea here is, and this is again, something that dan harmon's apology did so well, as it just goes through sort of bit by bit, saying the different ways that his actions were harmful. i don't think it's a paradox, in the way, m that we were takng about previously, between forgiveness apologizing. But there is an inherent tension, i wanted to get your thoughts on on this, in that when you're apologizing for something, you are admitting to having done something wrong. So at that point, you know that it was wrong, because youre apologizingyou presumably know at this point. And he's so well focused on the victim
We’ve promised you for years that we would do an episode on apologies and never got to it until today. So we both want to say from the bottom of our hearts: we’re sorry. We recognize we’ve let so many of our listeners down, and we feel just awful if you were offended by the delay. We hope this episode will be just one small step towards regaining your trust.
Plus, of all the evo-psych articles in the world, this one might be the evo-psychiest: “Oral Sex as Infidelity Detection.”
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Links:
- Pham, M. N., & Shackelford, T. K. (2013). Oral sex as infidelity-detection. Personality and Individual Differences, 54(6), 792-795. — From the abstract: "The infidelity-detection hypothesis for oral sex proposes that men perform oral sex to gather information about their partner’s recent sexual history."
- Clearer Thinking | How to apologise
- Schumann, K., & Dragotta, A. (2020). Is moral redemption possible? The effectiveness of public apologies for sexual misconduct. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 90, 104002.
- Ohtsubo, Y., & Watanabe, E. (2009). Do sincere apologies need to be costly? Test of a costly signaling model of apology. Evolution and Human Behavior, 30(2), 114-123.
- I Was Wrong: The Meanings of Apologies by Nick Smith :: SSRN
- Dan Harmon Apologizes for Sexually Harassing Megan Ganz | Time