What Is God's Rath?

In 16 75, when war with native americans broke out, puritans wondered what had brought god's rath upon them. So they decided that one of the causes was clearly, quote, men wearing long hair. Some pointed out that the long hair styles looked a lot like native american hair styles. And perry wo well, lookwhat you've done, longhairmesyou've gotten usito. I just got so much dumber from this guytas the lady is a got.