I've Been Holding on to This for a Long Time?

Ij, i'll say what i would call probably my first trip, am. And one of those situations was when i got pushed into a locker when i was in twelfth grade and ike man handled. But it was only until i did this meditation did it really come back and did i really nowt ace, why i've been holding on to this for a long time? Why? What's going on there?