As you might imagine, ridding your bottom of pesky hair follicles is not just a laborious task, but can also require extensive acrobatics and a bit of body contortion. We here at Bald, LLC recommend a multi-mirror system to achieve full visibility upon spreading your cheeks. Additionally, we also advocate for the use of a teammate if possible, because as with most things, the more hands involved in this process the better. Once you have achieved excellent sight-lines, apply a moisturizing gel or foam, grab a very sharp razor, and start from the inside out. Begin on the left and right sides, followed by the front and back, and then proceed along the skin lines as you use extra caution when close to the holy of unholies. Once done, rinse your undercarriage with warm water, thoroughly apply a moisturizer to prevent razor burn, and then head out to the club with the extreme self-confidence that only a freshly-shorn bottom can bring. Godspeed, friends.

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