Intro

Speaker 3
Like, I really get out. No, I
Speaker 2
thought I really thought my life was going to end. Like, sure. Yeah. He was trying to see Chris. You're trying my back. And after six minutes, David saved me. He goes, get the fuck off him. Come on, Chris. Oh, it
Speaker 1
was all Fred's fault. Okay. Jay is doing my mean, Chris Farley's running thing. It's a heart attack thing where he always hits this. He goes, Son of a, I have a, are you supposed to have a tingling feeling in your left arm? It's going numb. Yeah. Yeah. So what about when he walked you to the elevator? Wasn't he mad about that? Oh, I pinned
Speaker 2
them. Yeah. So the rematch was it was a Dana Carvey at Dana Carvey. It was wow. I was reading your name right there. It was, it was Alec Baldwin. I get you guys. We know. It's just a thing. It was Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger were co- Oh, they were mingling. Yeah. Okay. My, my follow up to that was like, it really like bugged me because I was like, as the day. Well, can I ask for a second? How good were you at wrestling? You're a good wrestler. I was better as an adult.
Speaker 1
And it was the weight when you took on Farley. What was your weight? It was probably 160. Okay. So you were lean. Okay. So talk about how you was told by the elevator. How did you pin a five, six, 270 pound man? I was sitting on the couch. That's not what I figured he was at his prime. Glad you asked. Yeah. You get him right after went to Wally and Joseph's. He had shells. Wally and Joseph's
Speaker 2
taken nap. That was our go to
Speaker 1
restaurant
Speaker 2
in New York. You were sitting on the couch right inside the right. Right. I said right inside the writer's room. Yeah. Yes. And I walked in. I said, Hey, it's something
Speaker 3
that you got. Hey, fat boy. I still want to go. No. And he went to get up and the everyone sitting at the giant table. Yeah. So you
Speaker 1
still want to go. You still
Speaker 2
want to go. What are you doing? How are you doing this? I was not. Yeah.
Speaker 3
Untreated. How cool is it? What are you doing? I'm treated totally. And he went to get up. His mistake was like never getting a fight getting out of your car. He's dead. So he got caught in that limbo.
Speaker 1
Starting halfway. And then where'd you go? So I went
Speaker 2
out my right arm around his head and I just went bodied into him. And then we just were falling forward. And then I clasped my hands under his like back of his knee.
Speaker 3
So we did like a somersault room. And I put my knee in his side and my forehead on his temple. Oh, just because I knew if I let him go, he'd kill me. Yeah, I know. So it's like, can you find me fully? You are right. I don't want to let him go because he'll beat me up in front of how he calls. That was a more importantly, can you make sense? She's dumb. And so I let him go and everyone staring at me like, what the fuck is this guy doing? So that I slapped Chris's ass. I go now or even. And I get up and I'm walking to the night elevators. I don't know why it turned left instead of right. And I just hear this like running up the bowls behind me. And I turn and it's like the entire room has emptied out. And they're walking towards me, but in front of them, Chris is walking like a zombie. Like, you know, Scooby-Doo, like with the big leg, and his eyes are up in his head, like, my right, his palms are out. Terrifying. So I had that time to get to the elevator. I'm hitting the button and hitting the button. The night elevator opens and it's filled with people from the rainbow room. Yeah. It's all it's. It's
Speaker 2
a wall of it. It's just a wall of black tie and gowns. Just taffeta and fucking Ben Gay, just all these.
Speaker 3
So I went into the elevator and then Chris is walking towards the elevator. Now he's going to kill me and there's going to be collateral damage. And I
Speaker 2
go, look everybody, that's Chris Farley. And the whole elevator, like on an episode of New Heart, just goes, oh! And he goes, oh! He just turned around and followed us.
Speaker 1
And they all better close. You got so lucky.
Speaker 3
I got seen with a fucking murder. Oh my god, when
Speaker 2
you get that temper going. The only reason I lived is because he had to get to laugh even in that. Oh, man, like instead of running at me and grabbing me, once everybody was mobile, he was like, oh. I remember I told Dan I said, I remember the great Chris and Jay.
Speaker 1
There was a wrestling situation and then Jay got the best of them and went into the elevator. Oh my god. I made him turn purple. Oh, he got the best of me. I was killed him. So you had skill. You had a lot of confidence. Well, I watch a lot of UFC. So I, you know, there's- You see me on that. Well, I've seen guys that look like you. I don't know, but- But, but- He always had a smaller
Speaker 2
person. He's just, if it was, he was, the way he was getting up off the couch was just to God's end. That I got really lucky and he just took my shot.
Speaker 1
Well, he was just obviously- And it wasn't really at all. He was quick.
Speaker 3
Oh, he was just like, hey, he's like, hey Jay. He always went like punchline first. He's like, all right, young talent. Yeah. Hey, how are you? How
Speaker 1
are you? Good
Speaker 3
lady.
Speaker 2
Sorry. I remember when David Tal and I were in the office and Farley walked in at like 1 a.m. On a Thursday, he was just like, whoa. And he's like, what are you guys doing? And at the same time, like creepy twins, we said, we'll pay you a hundred dollars to shit out the window.
Speaker 1
Oh, you initiated that. You started that. He
Speaker 2
just went, oh, it came in the
Speaker 1
morning first. Give me that money. And so he did this more than once. 17th floor.
Speaker 2
No, that's, and we had to fill out a police report because I thought he was a jumper.
Speaker 1
So he, how do you- He opens the window. Yeah. Does he take down his pant? I mean, how- And then he
Speaker 2
puts his ass out. So yeah. And it was obvious right away, he didn't have to shit at all. Because he was
Speaker 3
just, he turned like purple from effort. He was just like, so nothing happened.
Speaker 1
No, like a one little thing on Harry milk, Doug. And Lauren Michaels, who was back coming back for more. So's. Okay. With all this. You're going to, excuse me, Paul. Do you have a napkin?
Speaker 3
Catch on the second song. You
Speaker 2
got a little bit of fish. She's on you. One of the feature players should have- It fell in the window onto
Speaker 3
my desk. Oh, what?
Speaker 1
So you initiate it and you become the victim. Yeah.
Speaker 3
And then there is nothing to wipe his ass.
Speaker 2
So he wiped, I always leave this part of the story out, I'd respect. But you guys know how much- We can't love anyone more. No. So he wiped
Speaker 3
his ass with his hand. And is he
Speaker 1
only on the option? People listening who don't, who think being on Saturday Night Live is a barrel of monkeys. You're right. And this isn't- It is. Well, how much fun it is. He would come on my office and go, Yeah, I have got a greasy trail, which I figured out later what it was. And he'd take my USA today and go give me a piece of that. And you know, you can do this. So everyone,
Speaker 2
because that's what it's at. He went back to that mummy walk
Speaker 3
and he fucking chased us.
Speaker 2
Oh yeah, with the 17th floor with
Speaker 1
the shit I was saying. Mummy walk and shit on the stairs. And I'm running down the hallway
Speaker 2
past like research. And there's those bookshelves in the hallway.
Speaker 3
And me and David Tell are running side by side. And I'm like, we're not going to make this side by side. We got to go single
Speaker 2
file. Someone's going to- But I don't want to
Speaker 3
be in the back.
Speaker 2
And Dave, like I'm like two years removed from competitive wrestling. And David Tell, a chain smoking
Speaker 3
miserable guy, just passes me out of here.

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