The Illusion of Control in First Responders

In cognitive science, there is a concept called the illusion of control. In this case to blame yourself. Because that's who we are is we're rescuers. If we don't rescue somebody, then we did something wrong and we're not a rescuer anymore. And then we're basically a failure. So I started noticing something was going on with me. I was angry. I was irritable. I stopped sleeping. Every time I'd see this certain water delivery truck, like this videotape would start playing in my head and it would start off with obviously that water truck call. It got to the point where I couldn't turn it off.