Hey Lifers!

Producer Keeshia is filling in today and Britt is curious about her chewing gum and toilet choice habits. 
Britt has had a very serious emergency that could have had a very dire outcome. This story isn't for a laugh but more a word of warning!
Vibes for the week can be found on our website
Britt: 
Keeshia: Modern Wisdom - How to stop feeling like your success is never enough
and Apple airpod max headphones

Then we jump into your questions!

IS HE LYING TO ME?
A few years ago when I was around 7 months pregnant I noticed a condom missing from the pack. The only reason I noticed this was because we don’t use condoms and only had them because we were going through fertility treatment and advised to use them prior to egg collection and embryo transfer. I confronted my husband about it and he said he likes to wear them when he ‘relieves’ himself because he likes the feeling of it. Fast forward to now and we have been trying for a second baby for almost 9 months. We have embryos frozen so have decided to go through fertility treatment again. Again, we have been advised to use condoms to avoid multiples etc. My husband hasn’t used any of ours since then, or told me that he’s brought more. For the past few months he has been working away a few nights a week and staying at a friend’s house while he’s away (this friend is married with kids). The other day our 2 year old was going through his bag. He opened a zip and pulled out 2 condoms saying ‘daddy biscuits’. A few hours passed and a comment was made and we ended up talking about it. He told me again he liked the feeling of it and that I have nothing to worry about. My sex drive has been very low the last few months trying for a baby again and sex feels like a chore. He doesn’t want to push me or put any pressure on so finds the need to ‘relieve’ himself which is totally fine. I explained to him why it seemed suss and he understood where I was coming from and said he never even saw it that way. Now the question is - I don’t know if this a red flag and he’s lying to me or is this a legit thing and I should just trust him? We are about to have another embryo transfer and I’m just all over the place with my emotions and how I feel about this. I don’t have actual proof he’s done anything wrong or cheated and I don’t have reason to not trust him.

AM I A BAD FRIEND?
I’ve got a friend who seems to chase chaos in relationships. She is clearly the reason her last wonderful relationship didn’t work out, and since then she has dated multiple toxic guys back to back, and says she loves red flags - as if it’s funny, until it’s not funny anymore. She also never takes any accountability for her bad behaviour. I wish I didn’t get so invested and didn’t care what she did with relationships but it’s put me off our friendship. She’s never done anything bad to me but I find myself with the ick and not wanting to hang out with her because I can’t possibly listen to one more of these chaotic and red flag guy stories. Am I being a bad friend?

NOT BUDGETING FAIRLY
My family is going on a big holiday for a whole week. I’m talking about my sisters, their husbands and their kids + my parents and me (I’m single). One of my sisters has been the arranger of the whole trip. It was her idea so she has booked and budgeted everything and explained how much everything is costing and how it’s getting split. Now it’s coming to the crushing time of paying everything and getting close to us all going but I’m starting to feel as if things haven’t been fairly budgeted. What’s your perspective? We are 3 sisters helping pay toward ours and our parents' holiday however 2 of us have partners also contributing to the 1/3 expected on each of our behalf and then there is me who has to support the whole 1/3 on my own. Is this just the way the cookie crumbles or should this actually be split by 5 to include my sister's husbands?

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