Suicide

I have a history with suicidal depression from a very young age. I no longer take drugs medicinal or recreational, and I have made great advances in my spiritual journey. Is it possible to be friendly with death, even though I have a suicidal past? Or is this just another form of suicidal ideation that I need to be aware of?" "These are not the very ultimate explanations but they're approximations just towards the the truth of who you are"