A therapist I once worked with said it best:
Abandonment is the gap between what you need and what you get.
Abandonment arouses the primal fear of infancy and childhood, that of being left alone to fend for ourselves.
This kind of wound is cumulative: every loss, betrayal, disappointment, rejection (perceived or real), break-up or death can trigger the primal Abandonment Wound. Rather than dissipate, feelings incubate.
Everybody has an Abandonment Wound. The issue is not whether or not it exists within us, it’s how well we’re coping with it.
In 2014, I delivered a lecture at the Canadian Association of Clinical Hypnotherapists Conference called, "Healing The Abandonment Wound: A Five Step Process". This is a special Numinous Podcast three-part mini-series that expands on that lecture with additional readings, resources and thoughts about how this work has evolved in the three years I've spent focussing the client work in my hypnotherapy practice in this area.
Resources cited in this episode include:
The Roots of Addiction in Free Market Society, by Bruce K. Alexander
Rat Park, by Bruce K. Alexander and the comic it inspired by Stuart McMillen
(not mentioned in this episode but equally entertaining work describing Rat Park is the video, "Everything We Know About Addiction Is Wrong")
In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction, by Dr. Gabor Maté
The Journey From Abandonment To Healing, by Susan Anderson
You can explore this work with me further at: www.carmenspagnola.com/abandonment-therapy/
