How to Deal With Discord in Relationships

Why do we feel challenged by potential or actual disagreement and differences in our intimate relations? Do we need to be involved in debates or conversations even when we really don't want to? There's clearly a very different perception of the people in our intimate relationships versus those in non intimate relationships. We see this in particular when we're some one who identifies with being a people pleaser. Or we might call it perfectionism, over giving thinking, or being over responsible.