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Before we begin, it may help to name the kind of territory weâre enteringâbecause this essay (or episode) is all about paradoxes and polarities.
A paradox is two things that seem to oppose each other but are both true. Similarly, a polarity is a pair of truths that donât cancel each other outâthey balance each other.
You experience this every day. You can want independence and connection at the same time. You can feel confident in one moment and insecure in the next. You can love someone deeply and still feel frustrated by them.
Wisdom traditions say this is not a mistake. This is what being human feels like.
The Zen tradition captures the sentiment beautifully in a single line:
âYou are perfect just as you areâŠ
and you could use a little improvement.â
At first, it sounds impossible.
But it points to something essential:
- You are wholeâand youâre still becoming.
- You are worthyâand youâre unfinished.
- You have goodness in youâand you have a shadow too.
Paradox isnât a problem to solve.
Itâs a tension to live in.
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