Devenm: I grew up in a midwestern suburb, i always felt just this panic that i needed to secure like, a comfortable life for myself by working as hard as possible. For me, the answer to that, in my mind, for some reason, was academia. Devenm: Even when you are someone who can kind of play by the rules of society that tell you to always do more and achieve more, even as someone who actually was kind of like winning by therules of that game, i wasn't really winning. It was eating me up alive.