Non Monogamy Is an Orientation for You, but Your Partner Is Not Open to It

As much as you feel like non monogamy is an orientation for you, your partner surely feels, or seems to feel, amonogamy is an Orientation for them. And so there's not always a way to reconcile that. You can't say it's unfair of them to deny me my non-monogamy because you got up and in front of friends and family swore that you would never do this thing. Of course, that's going to be confusing and painful for someone who identifies with that down very core as their identity. I'm not saying that means you shouldn't tell the truth. It's just that sometimes even what you should do, and actually usually what you