The Importance of Respecting Interests

In the case where someone is deceased, it seems that what you're doing is really treating them as if they were still there. How do you respect that interest given that they're no longer there to experience interest being met? One of the desires that I think we form vc loving relationships is that the other relate to us as we are not as he would like us to be or as we once were and so forth. And when we die then that desire is extinguished in the psychological sense, but it's not extinguished in the sense that we wanted to be satisfied right at various points after our death.