I hope everything came across clear because sometimes I have all these things I want to say and I don't know how to say them but I think that's normal. One thing I like to leave you with Adriana is is there's some things that I have trouble letting slide and one of them is that there's no point in trying because it's so busted which I know you recognize is not entirely true. When I've worked with people who have managed to heal a fair amount I think one thing that changes is right now you've got all the dark feelings in the dark place. There are times where you're feeling really really good about yourself where like you can come first. What I