If the purpose of your party is to have a party where the people who bring out the best in you are there, you don't always have to make your purpose explicit. You know, i can give this example of my own life, that i, my parents and my inlaws were going to meet for tea, and an aunt was visiting. And so it, frankly, became a conflict because it actually meant her staying at home or not. So part of problem of having an aunt there isit not that she's going to be quiet and not take up space, but if you're gathering well, you're including her intimately in the conversation.