Personal Failure: When Friends Lose Ambition

You might think you know about Malala. But you’d be wrong. For so many years, she stood as a symbol of resistance: the teenage girl who was shot by the Taliban for insisting on the right to go to school and who later won the Nobel Prize at 17 for her efforts to make education available for everyone.

But there was another story that existed behind the headlines: the story of a young woman who was only just understanding who she was. Now 28, Malala has published a new book, Finding My Way which describes some of that extraordinary journey.

In this episode we discuss her panic attack after smoking a bong at Oxford (and how this retriggered undiagnosed PTSD), what friendship taught her, her views on marriage and how they’ve changed, as well as the sadness she carries for Afghanistan and all the women who are denied an education around the world. Plus: how she fell in love with a hot cricketer.

This is such a powerful conversation and Malala is also funny, warm and incredibly wise. You will laugh. You might cry. But whatever happens, you’ll emerge with a new perspective on life.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

01:27 Recovery and Continued Education

05:12 College Life and First Experiences

07:03 Mental Health and Panic Attack

11:09 Academic Struggles and Social Life

17:48 Reflections on Friendship and Cultural Pressures

26:02 Reflecting on Nasin's (her cousin’s) Struggles

27:49 Reflections on Life Choices

30:14 Marriage: A Journey of Doubts and Discoveries

31:47 Redefining Marriage Norms

34:36 Contemplating Motherhood

37:04 The Fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban

44:27 Global Crises and Personal Reflections

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

I realised that my learning was not limited to just reading articles and books. It's really your friends who make you comfortable because they don't judge you. They don't see you with any title. They see you beyond all of that.

What you wear is your choice. Nobody should be deciding that for you and we need to give more freedom to women to make these decisions for themselves and respect their decisions… It is okay to question these things to take your time, and in the end, whatever decision you make for yourself, that is your choice.

The fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban is a story of failure to me, failure of all of us.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

The Malala Fund - www.malala.org

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

📚 WANT MORE?

Greta Thunberg - Greta talked about her inability to be a “normal teenager”, her frustration with the lack of political action on the climate crisis, and how she copes with being thrust into the global spotlight. http://swap.fm/l/GretaThunberg

Kazuo Ishiguro - a fellow Nobel Laureate talks about outsidership, writing The Remains of the Day and why he’ll never forget a toy chicken. https://link.chtbl.com/zu0kLq-0

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and Malala answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Carly Maile

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices