The Nigel Spatman Award for the World's Tiniest Violin

I have to act as if it isn't the best thing it's ever happened. Manchester United has collapsed and died. And now this money-washing crap that we put out with for 20 years is over. I've got a mate who supports Chelsea. I saw him Friday. It's going... Well, we've lost all our defence, you know, as per the quite as going. Rudiger's going. Christensen's going. What about Chalabro? Is he good? No, he's no good. He's rubbish. You'll be... I call it the Nigel Spatman Award for the world's tiniest violin. John Bumstead and Nigel Spat