Who wants to change their life? Who want to transform their relationships and increase their influence? If that’s you, then Stanford based psychologist Caroline Fleck might be your therapist. In her new book, VALIDATION, Fleck lays out a skill set that, she promises, not only revolutionized psychology but can revolutionize all of us. Skeptical? Yes, I was before talking with Dr Fleck. But she actually offer some very practical advice on how we can all improve our relationships and build our self-confidence.
Here are the 5 KEEN ON take-aways from our conversation with Caroline Fleck:
* Validation vs. Praise: Validation is about showing acceptance and understanding ("you're there, you get it, you care"), not about praise or agreement. Many people confuse these concepts.
* Universal Human Need: Everyone seeks acceptance regardless of demographics, gender, or background. The absence of feeling validated contributes to suffering.
* Balancing Acceptance and Change: Effective communication, especially in therapy, requires both validation (acceptance) and problem-solving (change). Validation creates the conditions for people to be receptive to change.
* Applications Beyond Therapy: Validation skills can transform relationships, reduce conflict, and bridge divides in families, couples, and broader society. These are learnable skills that don't require a psychology degree.
* Concerns About AI in Therapy: While AI can effectively mimic validation techniques, Fleck worries about the one-directional nature of AI relationships and their inability to foster genuine connection and reciprocal skill development.
Dr. Caroline Fleck is a licensed psychologist, corporate consultant, and an Adjunct Clinical Instructor at Stanford University. She is a respected voice in psychology and has been featured in national media outlets, including The New York Times, Good Morning America, and The Huffington Post. Her upcoming book with Penguin Random House is the first ever to make the validation skills therapists use to get through to anyone available to everyone. In her private practice, Caroline specializes in evidence-based treatments for adults, adolescents, and couples, including Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), and Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Her corporate work focuses on creating high-performing individuals and teams using the proven methods of behavioral science. Caroline graduated from the University of Michigan (BA) and Duke University (MA, PhD).
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