The Non-Largest Potato in the World

It was found in a pair of farmers in New Zealand who, the Guinness World Records people wrote back to them when they wrote in saying we've got this. They said, in fact, it's a tuber of a kind of gourd. DNA testing actually revealed in true Jerry Springer style that it wasn't a potato at all. I like the idea of vegetable espionage, though, like posing as a potato for many, many years. And the finders, they've made a little trotlet to drag it around on. It's quite sweet. So I have a couple more contenders for giant potatoes. But sadly, or luckily for me, was chopped down by vandals.