Fantasies, Desires, and Compromises

Hey Lifers,

Welcome to therapy where we unpack all of your dilemmas!

First up today, kids with second child syndrome and main character kids that potentially need some resilience.
Christmas hams are the ultimate raffle prize and they will now be coming home with Laura more often. 
We unpack the top google searches in Aus for the year. Some were to be expected and were a bit of a surprise. You can check out the whole lists here at The Daily Aus

Vibes/Unsubscribes for the week:

Laura: Unsubscribing from "Leave the World Behind" on Netflix
Vibing Carols on the Beach
Britt: Instagram content creator Anna Louisa at home
Keeshia: Podcast by the two ex Good Morning America hosts wrapped up in the affair Amy & TJ

Then we unpack your questions:
- I gave birth 4 weeks ago and my partner last night said our sex life is sh*t and it’s affecting him mentally. He said he doesn’t want to spend time with me because I never want to do it or “even give a blow job”. I really don’t want to so I won’t but I also think I have difficulty with sexual intimacy with him because after our last 2 kids, I felt pressured into having sex again 3 weeks after birth which was wrong. Where do I go from here? I feel like I have no sexual drive towards him but he thinks I have something wrong with me.

-I was out with 2 friends and we were buying drinks in rounds. When it was my turn to buy the next round, I started a friendly chat/ flirt with a good looking guy in line who offered to buy me a drink. I said “I appreciate it but it’s my round for the girls so I’ll get it”. He insisted on buying the entire round… I summoned my friends to the bar and he bought the 3 of us a shot and a drink each. Very generous. Later in the night, my friends wanted another drink. When it was time to pay she turned to me and said “it’s your round”. I replied “you both scored not 1 but 2 free drinks from what would’ve been my round, so isn’t it back to you?” My friend laughed and called bullshit and said it’s still my round since I didn’t pay. If you took care of 2 free drinks on what was your round by queuing and flirting, should you still have to pay for the next?

-I’m single and whenever I go away with friends or family I always get the trundle bed/ couch, so all the couples get the double beds. Even if I go away with my girlfriends they refuse to sleep on the air mattress on the floor. Should it be ok for me to ask to pay less for the accommodation because I get the shitty bed on the floor when everyone gets a proper comfy bed?

-The other day my partner of nearly 8 years and I were discussing fantasies. I brought it up because you know, you want to keep the spark and keep things a little interesting. I told him that I’d always had the fantasy of having sex in public. He told me that he’d always wanted to have a threesome. I know it’s a pretty common fantasy for guys but I’m feeling a bit rocked from this. I’m only sexually attracted to men so I don’t really find the idea of having sex with another woman appealing. I don’t want to completely shut him down, especially because I was the one who brought up the idea of fantasies. I don’t really know what to do here. Have you got any advice? Is there a middle ground? 

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