I’m back with a deep dive into a topic that many listeners have either asked me directly or perhaps quietly wondered about but may not say out loud: what happens when one partner is invested in personal growth and the other isn’t? Drawing from my own journey, years of interviews with experts, and Gottman Institute research, I explore in this solo episode how this dynamic plays out in relationships and what it can mean for intimacy, compatibility, and long-term partnership.
Relationships don’t always end because of one big betrayal or crisis. Sometimes, they slowly drift apart as one person evolves and the other prefers comfort and predictability. I’m unpacking the tension between growth-oriented partners and stability-oriented partners—and ask the hard question: can these two ways of being coexist, or does the gap eventually become too wide?
What you’ll hear in this episode:
- How growth-oriented and stability-oriented partners value relationships differently
- The ways personal transformation can unintentionally feel like criticism
- Why recurring arguments often reveal deeper, unspoken dreams
- What happens when one partner turns toward—or away from—bids for connection
- How couples can accept influence from each other without fully sharing the same goals
- A framework for building a shared meaning system that balances stability and growth
- The moment of clarity that comes from realizing you’re asking for more than the relationship can provide
- Why leaving isn’t always failure, but sometimes an act of integrity
At its core, this conversation is about honoring both your partner’s truth and your own. My invitation to you is to invite you to reflect on what you most deeply want in a relationship and to trust your intuition when the paths no longer align.
Resources from this episode:
Email me (support@andreaowen.com) or send me a DM on Instagram if you’re interested in deeper work in a new group program I’ll be offering soon!
691 When Growth Rocks the Boat
668: Lesson 8: Leaving people behind to find yourself
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!
MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/
Episode link:
https://andreaowen.com/podcast/694
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