The End of a Bed

It took me three or four reads of the whole piece before I decided that, ah, they're on a bed and they're top entailing it lying next to one another. Give us her name first. Don't use vague nouns when you can really drill down and be accurate. Her brown hair combined with the lion yawned simile ought to feel hackneyed, but somehow, for me, it doesn't. It feels simple and true, which is a massive win. That final and, though, is a conjunction too far. Just end the first sentence at bed, then start a new one with a few dark. And sometimes an author with healthy self-esteem would leave