When someone asks us to do something we don’t want to do, we often say yes even though we want to say no, because we think that saying no will feel terrible. But my guest, Dr. Vanessa Patrick, says the opposite is true: we actually feel great when we say no.

So why do we have such a hard time doing so?

Today on the show, Vanessa, who’s the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life, answers that question and more. She shares how to categorize the asks you get into quadrants to determine whether you should say yes or no to them. And she explains how to give an “empowered refusal” — a no that’s phrased in a way that makes it less likely to create offense or pushback — so you can start saying no to the things that don’t matter, and spend more of your time on the things that do.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Article: How to Firmly Say No Without Coming Off Like a Jerk
• AoM Article: A Better Way to Say No
• Sunday Firesides: Give the Gift of No
• AoM Article: Quit Being a Pushover: How to Be Assertive
• AoM Article: There Is No Indispensable Man

Connect With Dr. Vanessa Patrick

• Vanessa’s website
• Vanessa on LinkedIn
• Vanessa on Twitter
• Vanessa on IG
• Vanessa’s faculty page