Wrestling With Desire For a Different Neurology

Struggling with being labeled "lazy" or "unmotivated" as someone with ADHD can fuel deep shame and misunderstanding. These stereotypes overlook the real challenges and complexities neurodivergent people face every day, especially when it comes to executive functioning and self-worth.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the pervasive myth that ADHD is simply about lack of motivation or laziness. Through candid discussion, they explore the realities of inconsistent motivation, the role of shame and internalized ableism, the overlap and differences between ADHD and Autism, and their own personal experiences managing daily life, self-care, and executive functioning struggles.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain real insight into why ADHDers often internalize harmful labels and what’s actually happening neurologically and emotionally beneath the surface of "laziness" or "lack of motivation."
2. Hear honest stories from Patrick and Megan Anna about managing shame, tackling everyday executive functioning challenges, and embracing self-compassion as a neurodivergent adult.
3. Explore how living with both ADHD and Autism can shape self-understanding, coping strategies, and the ongoing negotiation between passion, energy, and daily life demands.

If you’ve ever wrestled with shame or frustration over "simple" tasks, or if you want to better understand the ADHD experience beyond stereotypes, this episode will help you rethink what motivation really looks like and why you’re not alone.

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Thanks to Our Sponsors: Jane & Resilient Mind Counseling

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Jane helps with day-to-day admin, like scheduling, documentation, and billing, so you can stay focused on the care you give. Jane was built with clients in mind, too. With online booking and secure online appointments (telehealth), your care stays accessible and easy to keep up with.

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✨ Resilient Mind Counseling:

It's Patrick, one half of Divergent Conversations. Some of you may know that I own a group therapy practice in North Carolina, Resilient Mind Counseling. We specialize in supporting the Neurodivergent, LGBTQIA+, and Black, Brown, and Asian communities online and across North Carolina. We also have limited in-person openings at our offices in Asheville and Cary. We really love working with clients who are coming to terms with both Autism and ADHD discoveries later in life or questioning, as well as the intersections of race, gender, identity, and orientation. All of our therapists have lived experience and identify as AuDHD, Autistic, or ADHD. Our team of affirming therapists offers a safe, anti-racist, anti-oppressive, inclusive, and accessible space where you can show up exactly as you are—no masking, no judgment, and no need to make eye contact, just real connection and healing. We accept most commercial insurances like Blue Cross Blue Shield, United, Aetna, and Med Cost, as well as self-pay options. We currently have openings for new clients. Visit our website at resilientmindcounseling.com. You can also text or call our HIPAA-compliant phone line at (828) 515-1246, or email us at scheduling@resilientmindcounseling.com.

✨ Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Burnout Resources

If you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

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💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground

Divergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

Resilient Mind Counseling

It's Patrick, one half of Divergent Conversations. Some of you may know that I own a group therapy practice in North Carolina, Resilient Mind Counseling. We specialize in supporting the Neurodivergent, LGBTQIA+, and Black, Brown, and Asian communities online and across North Carolina. We also have limited in-person openings at our offices in Asheville and Cary. We really love working with clients who are coming to terms with both Autism and ADHD discoveries later in life or questioning, as well as the intersections of race, gender, identity, and orientation. All of our therapists have lived experience and identify as AuDHD, Autistic, or ADHD. Our team of affirming therapists offers a safe, anti-racist, anti-oppressive, inclusive, and accessible space where you can show up exactly as you are—no masking, no judgment, and no need to make eye contact, just real connection and healing. We accept most commercial insurances like Blue Cross Blue Shield, United, Aetna, and Med Cost, as well as self-pay options. We currently have openings for new clients. Visit our website at resilientmindcounseling.com. You can also text or call our HIPAA-compliant phone line at (828) 515-1246, or email us at scheduling@resilientmindcounseling.com.

Neurodivergent Insights' Autistic Burnout Resources

If you’d like to supplement your learning on burnout, you can check out Neurodivergent Insights' resources on burnout. We have articles, an Autistic Burnout course, workbooks, and print books! Visit: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources

Jane

Jane is a clinic management software and EMR designed to be an extra set of helping hands in your health and wellness business. Available online and on any device, Jane has branded online booking, scheduling, insurance billing, customizable documentation templates and online forms, integrated payments, telehealth, and more — wrapped up in one beautiful package that even your patients/clients will love. Backed by our unlimited human support available by phone, email, and chat (even on Saturdays!), Jane is here to help you get back to the work you love. Get 2 months off new Jane subscriptions when you use code DCPOD at signup. Visit: https://janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/divergentconversations