Won't Take a Sledge Hammer to the Word Christian?

When my wife passed away ten years ago, i remember going through this major process of re evaluating my cors beliefs. And for months, and probably over a year, i was wrestling with the most fundamental questions of faith in what was happening. Now we're in the series a called kingdom come. We start to we sar ta process in re ate our corps beliefs? What do i believe about god and his goodness? How does that square with him allowing this to happen in my life?