Andi duke: When we're stuck in this self judgment shame spiral, why did they do this to me? Why did this happen? Yme? And these are all just iterations of, ya, y me, indifferent flavors. We're not going to be able to see what's possible if we talk about reasons for why everything's bad. If we shift the question to What might be going on with the person that we can bring some other people into the mix, then we start to see there's something outside of me that can get me out of this spiral.

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