"I didn't have confidence in those skills at the time that I became a manager," she says. "So, you know, when I quit that job and stopped being a manager, it was almost a sigh of relief because it felt like I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't anymore." The advice never to apologize for taking up space or offering an idea is not good enough; we need to dig into what's wrong with our own language if we don't feel confident about how we express ourselves. 'When you own a mistake, when you own that something you did cause someone else pain or it costs them time or something that you probably didn't even intend'
Becoming a boss is a step up and should feel like one, but for so many women it doesn’t, at least initially. Too often, the people we’re newly responsible for ignore our direction and question our judgment. We end up deflated and puzzled. Why won’t anyone follow my lead? Am I not cut out for this? Did my boss make a mistake in promoting me?
There are still a lot of biases in society against women’s leadership abilities, and it’s maddening how they can cause us to question ourselves. As difficult as defiance is to face—especially when you’re settling in yourself—we have ideas for making it clear that you’re in charge. McKinsey’s Lareina Yee recounts the actions that senior leaders took that affirmed her position. Kelsey reflects on the disrespect she felt as a first-time manager, as well as her discomfort with power, and Amy B helps her make sense of those experiences and feelings. If you manage a woman who’s a new manager, this episode is for you too!
Guest expert:
Lareina Yee is a senior partner at McKinsey and the co-founder of the Women in the Workplace report.
Resources:
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