Unintended pub names and listener contributions

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk football, travel & language. They reflect on a dramatic finish to the Champions League league phase and discuss ideas for changing the format. Plus unintended pub and film names returns, as does Clash of the Commentators along with the Great Glossary of Football Commentary. Suggestions welcome on WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

02:00 John’s fall from grace 06:50 5 Live commentaries coming up 12:50 Champions League reflections 17:45 Does the format need changing? 21:00 Unintended pub and film names 31:50 Harry Maguire for England? 35:45 Clash of the Commentators 47:15 Great Glossary of Football Commentary

5 Live / BBC Sounds commentaries: Sat 1500 Leeds v Arsenal, Sat 1500 Brighton v Everton on Sports Extram Sat 1730 Chelsea v West Ham,

Sun 1400 Man Utd v Fulham , Sun 1400 Aston Villa v Brentford on Sports Extra, Sun 1400 Forest v Palace on Sports Extra 2, Sun 1630 Tottenham v Man City.

Great Glossary of Football Commentary: DIVISION ONE Agricultural challenge, Back to square one, Bosman, Bullet header, Cruyff Turn, Cultured/educated left foot, Dead-ball specialist, Draught excluder, Elastico/flip-flap, False nine, Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Grub hunter, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, In behind, Magic of the FA Cup, The Maradona, Off their line, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Park the bus, Perfect hat-trick, Rabona, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Schmeichel-style, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Target man, Tiki-taka, Towering header, Trivela, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep.

DIVISION TWO Back on the grass, Ball stays hit, Beaten all ends up, Blaze over the bar, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Catching practice, Camped in the opposition half, Cauldron atmosphere Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Corridor of uncertainty, Couldn’t sort their feet out, Easy tap-in, Daisy-cutter, First cab off the rank, Giant-killing, Good leave, Half-turn, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Hospital pass, Howler, In the dugout, In their pocket, Johnny on the spot, Leading the line, Needed no second invitation, Nice headache to have, Nutmeg, On their bike, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Played us off the park, Points to the spot, Prawn sandwich brigade, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Reaches for their pocket, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Screamer, Seats on the plane, Show across the bows, Slide-rule pass, Steal a march, Straight in the bread basket, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Telegraphed that pass, Tired legs, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike, Turns on a sixpence, Walk it in, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands.

UNSORTED 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Bread and butter, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Opposite number, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Taking one for the team, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.