Many high-achieving people look successful on the outside while part of them remains frozen in childhood survival patterns. Through the Biology of Trauma® lens, I share how trauma disrupts the natural flow and movement of life—and the healing roadmap that takes us from stuck to truly alive.

If we've ever wondered why we can reach every external goal and still feel disconnected from our own life, this episode explains why. I share Elena's story, a 45-year-old Chief Operating Officer whose autoimmune diagnosis revealed what her body had been holding for decades. When her thirteen-year-old daughter had thoughts of suicide—and felt she couldn't talk to her mom—Elena finally understood: a part of her had been frozen since before she could walk.

We'll explore how nervous system dysregulation shows up as professional success masking emotional unavailability. We'll see how trauma stops our natural movement through life—and discover the six-step roadmap from survival to authenticity, belonging, and flow.

In this episode you'll learn:

[00:00] Why successful people can still be frozen in survival patterns from childhood
[02:15] How Elena's birth trauma created a freeze response before she could walk
[06:40] The moment her daughter's crisis revealed decades of emotional unavailability
[09:10] Trauma defined: the biggest disruptor of movement in our life
[12:45] Why everything inside us is movement—and what happens when trauma stops it
[16:05] The healing destination: authenticity, belonging, and flow as what it means to be alive
[19:50] Why state shifts matter more than neuroplasticity on your healing journey
[24:05] How neuroplasticity wires in whatever state you're in—including overwhelm
[26:30] The six-step roadmap: from "I am alive" to connection with others
[28:15] How Elena broke the generational cycle with her daughters

Main Takeaways:

Trauma Is the Biggest Disruptor of Movement: Trauma isn't just an event—it's the shock that stops us. It disrupts movement at every level: physical, emotional, relational, and through our life stages.
Successful and Frozen Can Coexist: High achievement doesn't mean our nervous system is regulated. Elena built an impressive career while part of her remained that terrified little girl, hiding and staying still to survive.
State Shifts Come Before Neuroplasticity: Whatever state we're in is what neuroplasticity wires in. If we're frequently in stress and overwhelm, our brain builds pathways that make that pattern automatic. We must shift our state first.
The Destination Is Authenticity, Belonging, and Flow: These three elements define what it means to be truly alive—free to be ourselves, grounded in connection, and moving with ease through life.
You Can't Skip the Sequence: The roadmap follows a specific order: recognizing we're alive, choosing to live, shifting our state, being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and finally connecting with others. Each step prepares us for the next.
Healing Breaks Generational Patterns: When Elena addressed her frozen patterns, her daughters noticed changes they never expected. The "resting bitch face" disappeared. Presence replaced absence.

Notable Quotes:

"Trauma becomes the biggest disruptor of movement in our life."

"I can still see myself as a little girl, hiding with my dolls, quiet, still and absolutely terrified."

"Whatever state we are in is what neuroplasticity wires in."

"Being in calm alive can actually become a habit. Imagine that."

"Your body's decision to freeze wasn't a failure—it was survival. But you don't have to stay frozen."

"My 12-year-old girl didn't realize that I had grown up and that I am alive—which means that she did it. She made it. We're alive."

Episode Takeaway:

Frozen doesn't mean broken. Elena's story reveals what happens when trauma stops our natural movement through life—not just physical movement, but emotional presence, relational connection, and our ability to truly arrive in the life we've built. Her freeze response began at birth, reinforced through childhood, and showed up decades later as professional success masking emotional unavailability. Her daughters felt it. Her body felt it. Her autoimmune diagnosis confirmed it.

The healing roadmap offers a way forward. First, we help that frozen part recognize we're alive—that survival happened. Then we consciously choose to live, rather than simply existing because we had no choice. We learn to shift our state into calm and aliveness, practicing until it becomes our new default. And finally, we move through the deeper work: being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and opening to genuine connection with others.

Neuroplasticity works for or against us depending on our state. If overwhelm has become our habit, our brain has built pathways that take us there automatically. But when we build the habit of calm aliveness first, neuroplasticity starts working in our favor. The destination isn't perfection—it's authenticity, belonging, and flow. Movement is possible. Coming home to ourselves is possible.

Resources/Guides:

Related Episodes:

Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology.

Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing.

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