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I've Got My Life Under Control but It's Not Normal
I went through something very similar when I was at school and even though like you say things can normalize it's always the sort of ever-present thing. If you have a bad day or if your routine really shifts like for me it happened when I got covid where suddenly like I was my whole diet shifted because I couldn't really taste anything and then that voice in my head kind of started up again. For me speaking about it to my boyfriend was like the most powerful thing because as soon as I spoke it I realized how horrible that way of speaking to myself was. It had kept me in a bit of a prison especially when I was younger as well.