I didn't really understand that she wasn't a complete insider, right? She always seemed like a insider to that very kind of posh world. And I could see suddenly how she was. The weight of that strangeness in the world overtook her at the end of her life. That seems to be what we all most know about her actually. We know she was in pain because of the way it ended. It's such an image that she created in her own suicide - and also wrote very well about awkwardness.

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