That sounds really traumatic to process, especially at the age of 18, where I feel like in that age, it's like too much already to focus on yourself. It's like that in itself is already overwhelming. And then to add on grief on top of that and all these family relation drama sounds like a lot. You think you had any sort of shock that you felt where you were like, I'm shutting down like I can't process this until years later.

Yeah, absolutely. I had always been a fan of comedy. The way for me to kind of mask at all was to resort to trying to be funny. And but still I don't remember all the details, but I remember crying and shaking so hard. I passed out. Wow. And I also remember because you know, a few days after he passed, you know, people started talking about money problems, financial arrangements. And I had this dream. My mom told me we were running out of money and she had to sell everything that I had. And I remember just being so devastated like watching one thing after one thing, just things being taken away from me. I cried so hard in that dream. I woke up the whole family. And that's probably because he passed in the end of February. I started school in June. So that's probably a few weeks before I was supposed to ship out.