The Importance of Timing in BDSM Dynamics

Recorded: June 18, 2023 / Published: Sept. 2, 2023

• - Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt. I'm your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show we use our combined 35 years of BDSM experience and my 20 years working in the psychology field to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. Text in your questions and comments to 865-268-4005 or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

• - In this episode, Mayfair and I discuss most of the things to know about BDSM brats.
• - Rules to Love By: (https://inclusionwoodworks.com)

• • 1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
  • 2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
  • 3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

• - “Most Things to Know About BDSM Brats-S05E07”

• • “A beginner's guide to being a 'brat' in BDSM”

1. • • By: Gigi Engle on April 20,, 2023
     • https://mashable.com/article/bdsm-brats-explained
   • -What is a brat?

“Make me.” According to the Fetlife Kinktionairy, a brat is defined as “A person who likes to exhibit one or more of the following behaviors: teasing, playful, sneaky, mischievous, stubborn, rebellious, disrespectful, or disobedient. This behavior may be a component of their power exchange relationship and should be consented to beforehand”Emerson Karsh, a kink educator, said “A "brat" is a delightfully disobedient sub within the Dom/sub dynamic in BDSM. "Brats enjoy questioning dominance, as well as like for dominance to be proven to them."- Why would you want to be a brat during play or sex? Why wouldn't you? Being cheeky, disobedient, snarky, and naughty can be fun. It creates a sense of playfulness that is often missing in sex. Being a brat is a very fun way to engage with your submissive side, without being a stereotypical sub. Brats are mouthy, badly behaved, and keen on punishment."Brats get great enjoyment from playing [a game of] cat and mouse, defying authority, and in turn receiving a ‘punishment’ from their Brat Tamer," explains Julieta Chiaramonte, another kink instructor and sex expert.If you’re turned on by disobedience, this might be something you want to explore.-What it means to be a 'brat.'The brat can be a very fun submissive persona. A brat intentionally misbehaves in order to get a rise out of their Dom, often eliciting "punishments." The brat enjoys driving the Dom a bit mad with their naughtiness. It’s all centered around defying authority, which can be very hot.A brat will taunt, push boundaries, and test their Dom’s limits and patience in hopes of causing a reaction. The Brat Tamer/brat dynamic is typically very playful and easily adjusted for nearly any consenting dynamic. -How is this submission?Brats offer their submission in a way that is amusing, consensual, and done for a reaction. You’re not being obedient in the traditional D/s way, but a brat will submit when their Dom decides to punish them.-The Dom is the 'brat tamer.'They may choose to go by a different name like Sir, Daddy, Mommy,or whatever but the brat tamer is their style of Domination.Their 'role' is to put their brat in their place, remind them of the rules, and enforce punishments and order that was negotiated. While it may not appear like it to some Brat Tamer is an authoritative and patient role that one must be comfortable and confident with accepting.Brat Tamer is not a soft roll. You can not be afraid to put your foot down. It takes a lot of skill and development. You have to hone your skills in giving your brat space to be a brat and maintain a healthy power exchange. It could be through punishments, orders, ignoring the brat or the behavior, or something else.-How brats act out and how they get punished.Ask a thousand people and get a thousand answers. However, here are a few common examples for each:

• • • Verbally:
      • Make me.
      • That’s all?
      • You can do better than that.
      • You can’t make me.
      • Oh, yeah? What’s the worst that can happen?
      • Prove it.
    • Behaviorally
      • Throwing things
      • Sitting down when told to “come here”
    • Punishments

• • • Spankings.
    • Orgasm denial.
    • Forced silence.
    • Getting walked like a puppy.
    • Forced orgasm.
    • Bondage.
    • Tickling.
    • Being put in a cage.

-How to engage in brat play in a safe way.

• • • Do your research.
    • Communication and consent.
    • Pick a safe word.
    • Start Low Go Slow
    • Don’t be afraid to get creative.

Important Links:

1. Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/507
2. National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
3. NCSF Kink Aware Professionals: https://www.kapprofessionals.org
4. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication
5. https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey
6. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic

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