Shame at the Heart of Perfectionism

249 - The Surprising Truth About Perfectionism and How to Beat It
Breaking Free from Perfectionism: When Good Enough is Better
In this episode, we explore how perfectionism silently sabotages our goals, creativity, and happiness. Drawing on insights from Michael J. Fox, John Acuff, and Brené Brown, this episode unpacks the difference between striving for excellence and being trapped by perfectionism. With candid stories and practical advice, it’s an honest look at what holds us back and what we can do to finally move forward.
Top Topics:
1. The Fear Behind Perfectionism
We often confuse perfectionism with high standards, but it’s really about fear. Fear of failure, judgment, and shame keeps us stuck in place. Perfectionism doesn’t protect us—it isolates us.
2. When Quitting Feels Safer Than Finishing
Many people stall at 70% of a project—not because they’re lazy, but because finishing makes it open to critique. This self-protective move is one of perfectionism’s sneakiest tactics.
3. Redefining Progress with Realistic Goals
John Acuff’s advice to “cut your goal in half or double your timeline” is a game-changer. Lowering the bar doesn’t mean giving up—it means creating a path to success that actually works.
4. Turning Good Enough into a Strategy
By choosing where to place your energy and embracing “strategic incompetence,” you reclaim your focus. Sometimes, a Word doc works just fine. Not everything needs bells and whistles.
5. Self-Compassion as the Real Productivity Hack
Brené Brown reminds us that being kind to ourselves when we’re imperfect is more powerful than pushing harder. A little self-love can go a long way.
Takeaways:
Perfectionism isn’t a personality trait—it’s a block to growth. Whether it shows up as procrastination, over-planning, or quitting early, its root is fear. The key to overcoming it lies in redefining success, simplifying goals, and replacing criticism with compassion. If we start treating ourselves like we’d treat a friend—with support, grace, and encouragement—we unlock our ability to finish, flourish, and feel proud of the messy, meaningful work we’re capable of.

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.