Alison Armstrong | 10 Things Women Don't Understand About Men: Unconscious Emasculation, The Language of Heroes + How To Get The Love You Want
Wellness + Wisdom Podcast
The Language of Heroes - It's So Much More Than Gender
A lot of my work these days isn't about gender. It's about being human. And owning our instincts, owning our fight fight and freeze responses,. Owning our relationship to power and we're as likely to abuse it as anything else. So funny, Josh, sometimes I can speak generally and there's something about you that I have to be really specific. Let's stay on the thread because I know people are with us right here.
What most human beings are saying is “we want a higher quality of life.” We want more intimacy, love, caring, and empowerment. We want to fulfill, not just survive. We want to thrive, accomplish, and contribute. Emasculation has always worked perfectly well - until we wanted a quality of life that makes it impossible. - Alison Armstrong
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Wellness + Wisdom Episode 512Alison Armstrong, an educator and the author of The Queen's Code and Keys To The Kingdom, explores the differences between men and women that create imbalance and conflict, and everything you need to know about emasculation.
Do you know what women don't understand about men and why they communicate and think differently?
In this episode, Alison Armstrong explains the reasons why men are being emasculated, the difference between men and women, why her book 'The Queen's Code' was a gift from God, and how you can find safety in yourself.
Learn To Understand Men + Women With Alison Armstrong
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- Being Extraordinary as a Man
- Being Extraordinary as a Woman
- Critical Missing Pieces
- Extraordinary Choices
- Understanding Love & Commitment
- Understanding Sex & Intimacy
Whether you want to better understand men or women, become an extraordinary man or woman yourself, or learn about love, commitment, sex, and intimacy, these courses will give you exactly what you need to create a loving relationship with yourself and your partner.
Listen To Episode 512 As Alison Armstrong Uncovers: [2:30] The Queen’s Code
- Alison Armstrong
- 437 Josh Trent | Death & Rebirth: Why I’m Saying Goodbye to Wellness Force…
- The Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong
- 364 Alison Armstrong: Understanding Men, Women, & Self Actualization
- Why Alison finally released The Queen’s Code as an audiobook and why she didn’t want to let anyone else narrate it.
- What made her realize she didn’t know what to do next in her life.
- The reason she withdrew The Queen’s Code from the publisher and decided to find another one.
- How her book spread out to 70 countries within the first 3 weeks.
[13:30] Books Written By God
- Why Alison claims she didn’t write The Queen’s Code.
- Keys To The Kingdom by Alison Armstrong
- Why she could finally relax for the first time after writing The Queen’s Code.
- How she received visions of the sequel book Key To The Kingdom and wrote 45,000 words within 8 days.
- The ways in which the books resemble her life.
- Asking herself where the questions that come to our mind come from.
- Why she stopped taking credit for her ideas.
[18:10] What It Means To Become An Elder
- Why Josh considers Alison an elder.
- The Language of Heroes: Speech and Performance in the Iliad by Richard Martin
- Stages of men’s development: Paige, Knight, Prince, Tunnel, King, Elder.
- Why Kings have so many opinions and a solid sense of who they are.
- Emperors: Why they want to dominate other Kings.
- What it means that elders are beyond ambition.
- How she discovered that women can become elders through her own experience.
- The reason elders don’t want to give advice to others.
- Why being an elder is an internal expression that has to be expressed.
- How Alison was each of The Queen’s Code’s characters at some point in her life.
- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
[26:25] Understanding That Men Are Not The Same as Women
- Why reading one of the characters’ parts for the audiobook didn’t feel right to Alison.
- What makes the audiobook more intense than the written book.
- The Candice Mama Show: The Psychology of Men and Dating with Alison Armstrong
- Why Candice read the men’s parts with less sincerity and emotion than Alison.
- How everyone reads books with their own filter.
- The reason she is happy that emasculation has become a conversation topic.
- How she and her team know that their job is done when everyone thinks a show about emasculating men isn't funny anymore (e.g. Everybody Loves Raymond).
- Everybody Loves Raymond (sitcom)
- What we perceive is given by where we’re perceiving from.
- Why women can’t see the magnificence of men and why Alison questioned if men had souls.
- Why men can’t be like women.
- How transforming your being comes from transforming how you see men.
- Why women see men as hairy misbehaving women and why men are not trying to not need women.
- Will Spencer
[38:30] Women's Fear + Why Men Emasculate Other Men
- How fear and frustration drive emasculation.
- Understanding Men & Women Online Course
- The importance of understanding that men don’t perceive and process information the same way as women.
- How men’s strength provides them with physical safety and they are taking it for granted.
- The difference in women’s reactions: Why women get scared so easily.
- How women’s fight, flight, and freeze responses can emasculate men.
- Why men emasculate men all the time.
- How emasculation doesn’t go with wanting a higher quality life, more intimacy, love, and empowerment.
[44:05] Emasculation Triggers
- Wetiko: Healing the Mind-Virus That Plagues Our World by Paul Levy
- 503 Wetiko: How To Heal Yourself From The Mind Virus | Paul Levy
- How fiction literature makes us feel less on the spot.
- Alison’s 20-year research on how women emasculate men, what triggers them to do it, and how they justify it.
- Why women justify emasculation by trying to prove that men are misbehaving.
- Examples of the labels women put on men that emasculate them.
- Why some of her customers didn’t want to celebrate men.
- How women can identify whether they’re emasculating men.
- Emasculating men for self-protection.
- How Alison used to emasculate men.
- Why sexual attraction can put men off balance.
- How she used it to make men weaker when she was younger and why male physicality put her off balance.
[56:25] How Physical Attraction Emasculates Men
- The story of her daughter and how boys reacted to her energy.
- Why she told her daughter to be kind to the boys who were kind to her and provided for her.
- How men show attraction: Providing for and taking from the woman they are attracted to.
- Why Alison teaches women not to lead with their sexuality and sensuality.
- How our attraction can throw the other one out of balance and make them attack us.
- How her daughter met her husband and what his first reaction was.
- Why meeting someone who you can’t live without can change everything.
[01:02:30] How To Find Safety In Ourselves
- The four questions a shaman would ask their patient.
- Why recording The Queen’s Code made her so emotional.
- The importance of realizing that emasculation doesn’t work and doesn’t make you safer.
- How the book changes how men relate to themselves and helps them not agree to be emasculated by women.
- Why knowing that women emasculate men when they are scared matters and how we can find safety in being ourselves.
- The reason why women are their own worst enemies.
- Why abuse of power is a human characteristic, not a man characteristic according to Alison.
- The reasons why she doesn’t believe in patriarchy.
- Why men care more about results, respect, and loyalty more than women.
- Competition: Our basic instinct that makes us perceive threats.
- Why she teaches people to own their instincts and responses.
[01:14:00] Do You Listen To Learn Or To React?
- Why we should look at emasculation as diminishing someone’s ability to produce results.
- What we do to others we do to ourselves.
- Why objectification is a form of emasculation.
- The illusion of gaining control through objectification.
- Listening to learn VS listening to agree or disagree.
- Why we listen to label things: A shortcutting process.
- Simply Psychology: Definition of a "heuristic"
- The two meanings of the word “code” according to Alison: Secret and honor.
- Why women should find honor in men especially when they’re disappointed with them.
- Why Language Of The Heroes doesn’t translate in all common languages.
- The essence of the words that men understand even if they never heard them before.
- What it means to be committed to being happy instead of chasing happiness.
- Why she doesn’t want to live together with her partner.
Power Quotes From The Show How Women See Men
"We need to change the point of view that men should be like women. You see being. Men see being. So can women and children. It’s the universal language. When women look at men, they see hairy misbehaving women. Women think that men should know the exact right thing to do but they’re doing something else and then women think they should be punished for it." - Alison Armstrong
Emasculation VS Higher Quality Of Life
"What most human beings are saying is “we want a higher quality of life.” We want more intimacy, love, caring, and empowerment. We want to fulfill, not just survive. We want to thrive, accomplish, and contribute. Emasculation has always worked perfectly well - until we wanted a quality of life that makes it impossible." - Alison Armstrong
Sexual Attraction As A Tool To Put Men Off Balance
"Sexual attraction can put a man off balance. When you have a strong physical response to someone, you’re not grounded anymore. And if you’re off balance, you can’t attack." - Alison Armstrong
Links From Today's Show
- Alison Armstrong
- 437 Josh Trent | Death & Rebirth: Why I’m Saying Goodbye to Wellness Force…
- The Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong
- 364 Alison Armstrong: Understanding Men, Women, & Self Actualization
- Keys To The Kingdom by Alison Armstrong
- The Language of Heroes: Speech and Performance in the Iliad by Richard Martin
- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
- The Candice Mama Show: The Psychology of Men and Dating with Alison Armstrong
- Everybody Loves Raymond (sitcom)
- Will Spencer
- Understanding Men & Women Online Course
- Wetiko: Healing the Mind-Virus That Plagues Our World by Paul Levy
- 503 Wetiko: How To Heal Yourself From The Mind Virus | Paul Levy
- Simply Psychology: Definition of a "heuristic"
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- Alison Armstrong
About Alison Armstrong
Alison Armstrong, author, educator, and creator of the widely acclaimed "Understanding Men" and "Understanding Women" transformational online series, asks the question: "What if no one is misbehaving -- including you?”
She explores the good reasons behind the behavior of men and women such as fundamental differences in how we think, act and communicate. She offers simple, partnership-based, solutions to improve our communication and intimacy by honoring ourselves and others. She's known for her insight, sense of humor, and ability to articulate the human experience and predicament of gender.
Alison Armstrong's MissionAlison Armstrong is a best-selling author, sought-after speaker, and master thought leader. She's the founder of PAX Programs, a mission-driven company passionate about transforming the way men and women relate to themselves and each other and the ultimate source for understanding men and women.
Alison Armstrong: Understanding Men, Women, & Self Actualization | Wellness Force #Podcast
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