You by itself isn't necessarily bad. But if there's a tinge of anger, annoyance or distrust going into it, that can seem and could be interpreted in a negative way. You is such a simple word. It makes us feel much more in control. Like we have agency. We're in the driver's seat. I'm choosing not to do this thing, not because I'm being constrained externally but because I made the decision. Even a simple word like don't rather than Cant can help take control and give us that agency.

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